This type of intimacy certainly doesn’t sound very sexy. But truly this type of intimacy can build a strong foundation for a successful partnership including a passionate sexual relationship. Vocational intimacy is built whenever two people join together in a significant way to accomplish a task. It is powerful because it taps into our natural need to feel successful and accomplished in our lives.
Vocational intimacy is built upon the natural synergy of human interaction around a specific task: two heads are better than one. There is additional synergy that flows from the coming together of two people with different gifts who each make unique contributions to the final goal.
But there is more to developing vocational intimacy than just choosing to work on stuff together. There are three key components to maximizing vocational intimacy. The first is to recognize each other’s unique giftedness and invite your partner into the arenas of his or her strengths. Secondly, it is crucial to offer words of encouragement to your partner. The effect of encouragement is to infuse courage into your partner to face the challenges of the task. And finally, it is crucial to celebrate together your successes as a couple.
It is crucial that you understand whether this type of intimacy is very important to your partner (and to yourself) or not so very important. My wife is somewhat of an introvert. She enjoys gardening, cooking, or doing other household tasks by herself as she experiences those times as relaxing and a respite from the demands of people. I basically hate all those tasks, but if I can do them with her, I enjoy the process much more. So my need for vocational intimacy is much greater than hers. She has learned to do some of those tasks with me, not because she needs to do it that way, but because it is so meaningful to me.
OK. So let’s look at practical ways you can build vocational intimacy.
Routine chores and tasks.
– Have a discussion with your partner about the routine chores that each of you do and whether that person would prefer to do that task as a twosome. Simple tasks like folding laundry and cooking can also be great time to talk and catch up on each other’s days.
Home improvement projects.
– There’s a hidden gem awaiting you in this area. You not only can have the positive experience of planning and executing an important project together, but you also create a space that speaks of you as a couple. This becomes our nest that we have imagined would be perfect for us and now we get to enjoy it together. Your home becomes your sanctuary, designed by the two of you as your respite from the rat race of the world. Look over these major Denver events coming up in the next year and get them on your calendar:
– Denver Parade of Homes, Aug. 13 thru Labor Day, 2015, Free:
– Denver Fall Home Show, Sep. 11-13, 2015
– Denver Garden & Home Show, Feb. 13-21, 2016
– Denver Home Show, March 18-20, 2016
Support your partner in his or her work.
– It is so easy to let this part of your relationship slide into oblivion as your partner’s work world gets more complicated and his or her expertise becomes more removed from what you understand. But do not underestimate the importance of your interest in and support for your partner’s career. Just by asking simple questions about the challenges that your partner faces and offering support for meeting those challenges you help lighten the load that your partner carries. Your partner will feel that you are invested in this world to which he or she sacrifices so much of the week. You can even ask if there is a way you might help. There just might be.
Volunteer in the community.
– One of the greatest ways of developing vocational intimacy in a relationship is to do volunteer work together. You and your spouse might join together in your child’s PTA, scout troop, or athletic team. Or you might check out one of these fine Denver organizations that are making Denver a better place to live for all of us.
– Denver Rescue Mission
– Denver Dumb Friends League
– HIV Carelink. Serving those in Denver who suffer from AIDS.
– Tennyson Center for Children: Denver’s premier treatment program for abused children.
– Volunteer Match. Use this website if you want to seek out unique volunteer opportunities.