Relationships

Do you have a friendship that is causing you a lot of difficulty? Is this friendship a good idea?

  • You may want to stop being friends with a person if they:
  • share private information about others
  • do all the talking and have trouble listening to you
  • violate your boundaries
  • put others or you down
  • tease, ridicule, taunt, “badmouth” friends and family
  • lie or are dishonest
  • want you to be their friend only or want you to spend all your time with them
  • want to always know where you are and who you are with
  • don’t want to be seen with you in public
  • are clingy or very needy
  • talk inappropriately about sex or personal matters
  • ask questions that make you feel uncomfortable
  • ask for risky favors
  • engage in illegal behavior
  • are physically, emotionally, or sexually abusive

Before you end the friendship, you want to talk about the troubling behavior.

If the person stops doing it, you may be able to continue your friendship. To help you decide if you want to end a friendship, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Is this person always this way or just this way once in a while?
  • Is this person having a hard time right now that might be affecting his/her behavior?
  • Are you having a hard time right now that may be affecting your feelings and the way you see things?
  • Do you of enjoy this friendship?
  • Do you feel hurt over and over again in this friendship?

You may be tempted to pursue a relationship with someone even though the person treats you or others badly. However, most people agree it is better not to have a certain friend than to have that person treat you badly. If the things another person says to you or does to you make you feel hurt and the person won’t stop doing those kinds of things, he or she is not your friend. It is always your choice whether or not to be friends with another person. Reach out to others for information and advice, but the final decision should always be yours.

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