Take your partner on a honeymoon today. Leave behind the mess at home and the stresses at your job, and find a place to be in paradise with your partner. OK, I can hear you saying, “I’ve already used up my vacation time and the funds for a trip to the Caribbean aren’t there either.” But I say to you, “Set aside a Saturday, or just this evening, and go on a honeymoon.” Bring to that experience the positive expectations that most couples have when they embark on their honeymoon. I’m going to suggest three factors for making your mini-honeymoon a success.
First, just play together. Of course, dinner out and a movie can be relaxing and a good time to talk and catch up on each other’s lives. But for this mini-honeymoon, put some energy into discovering a new way to play together. Rollerblade at or take a Frisbee to a nearby park. Pull out the tennis racquets. Grab a picnic blanket, stop by the Safeway deli, and do an evening picnic somewhere with a view. Watch the sun set together. Create a time to be physically close and if it leads to sex, great. And if it doesn’t, appreciate the gift of the warmth of being close.
Second, be in awe of the awesomeness of your partner. There is no one in the entire world like your partner. Think of yourself as an explorer let loose in a cave where you know there are hidden gems. You must choose to set aside any grievances, hurts, and frustrations for now. There will be another time to address those. Remember your partner when you first fell in love. Look for that warmth in her eyes or that tone in his laugh that drew the two of you together. Play a song that the two of you listened to when you were courting. Pay attention to what is unique and fantastic about your partner. The biblical witness says that each human being reflects the divine character of God. Look for that in your partner. And then say, “One thing I appreciate about you is…”
Third, give of yourself to your partner. This is your job to make your partner feel loved and cared about. You applied for the job and got it. Now look for a way to do just that. Is his language of love “quality time?” Then make sure he knows that he has your undivided attention. Is her language of love “affirming words?” Then write a love sonnet. Don’t be afraid of sounding like a fool. Your love will mean far more than the quality of the poetry. Then don’t be surprised if “love given becomes love returned.”
Truly, you can go on your next honeymoon this weekend or this evening. If you have this incredible gift of partnership in your life, take the risk of showing up with bold, creative love.
By Tom Olschner