Codependency

If you have these symptoms, you may be experiencing Codependency:

  • Being unable to leave a relationship because it is familiar, even though you know it is depriving and hurtful?
  • Feeling deserving of love but usually finding people who can’t love?
  • Feeling the relationship is your “fault” and feeling afraid to express critical, angry feelings?
  • You are not able to trust your real self to emerge in a relationship?
  • Are you in a difficult relationship?
  • Perhaps you don’t know whether to stay or leave a current relationship?
  • Do you find yourself giving more than you receive?
  • Do you feel repeatedly stuck in bad relationships and have no idea how this happens?
  • Do you tend to feel insecure in relationships?
  • Are you ashamed or unsure of yourself?
  • Are you uncomfortable with compliments?
  • Are you assertive at work but timid or intimidated when it comes to talking with your spouse?
  • Do you let opportunities pass you by because you feel too unsure of yourself to ask for a raise or promotion?
  • Do you love too much?
  • Changing who you are to please others?
  • Feeling responsible for meeting others’ needs at the expense of your own self-esteem?
  • Used by people who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional families?
  • Have compulsive behavior?
  • Are you in denial of your feelings or of reality?
  • Are there repetitive patterns in choices of partners?
  • Does it feel like something good would be lost even though the relationship seems hurtful?
  • Obsess about what the other person is doing?

Co-dependence describes the pattern of in which your individual personhood gets consistently lost in relationship with others. If you have not been able to give yourself a nurturing, loving relationship there is a reason. Therapy can often be helpful in normalizing and working through the painful patterns of co-dependent behavior and help clients to learn more effective and functional ways of taking care of themselves.

Many people find it difficult, sometimes impossible, to let go of a relationship which is not satisfying. It is important to take the time in therapy to understand repetitive patterns in relationships. Our choices of partners are often affected by many things out of our awareness. Therapy gives us the opportunity to understand our choices, gain more control of our behavior, and live life in a more-fulfilling manner. Call for help rather than letting life pass you by.

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