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Big Dream, 2016

23 Dec

For several years I have wanted to do a follow-up mission trip to Nepal, but this time with my wife, Robin. She didn’t want to take the necessary three weeks away from our son while he was still in high school and it took her another year to adjust to the challenge of being away […]

Summer Love in Denver! Assessing your Relationship.

04 Jul

Summer Love in Denver! Assessing your Relationship. Those of you who have been reading this blog have already read about the first three types of intimacy. Hopefully, you’ve been using these ideas with your partner to deepen these types of intimacy in your relationship. Before we get any further along in this process, I thought […]

Summer Love in Denver! Vocational Intimacy

26 Jun

This type of intimacy certainly doesn’t sound very sexy. But truly this type of intimacy can build a strong foundation for a successful partnership including a passionate sexual relationship. Vocational intimacy is built whenever two people join together in a significant way to accomplish a task. It is powerful because it taps into our natural […]

Summer Love in Denver. Let’s Recreate!

06 Jun

There’s no better way to get a relationship rejuvenated than by recreating together. You can literally re-create your relationship into one that is fun, peaceful, and connecting by learning to play together. John Gottman, America’s foremost marriage researcher, found that at the foundation of all healthy marriages is a solid friendship. Gottman found that one […]

Summer Love in Denver

29 May

Do you want to have a passionate, fun, and satisfying relationship with your partner? But does your relationship feel more stuck in a rut of routine, busyness, responsibilities, and distance? This summer just may be the time to re-ignite the love in your relationship! Over the next six weeks I am going to offer you […]

Sexual Anorexia and the Cuddle Hormone

14 May

Ralph calls me up and schedules an appointment. He is in crisis because his girlfriend, Sarah, discovered his sex chat with another woman and has threatened to end the relationship. Ralph recounts his history of looking at porn, masturbation, a long history of one-night stands in the dating scene, and, more-recently, forays into the intrigue […]

My Wife Complains

24 Jan

  My wife complains.  Does it sound like I’m complaining about that?  I’m not.  When my wife complains about stresses in her job or life’s frustrations, it gives me an opportunity to listen.  Oh yes, I used to be one of those fix-it husbands; I had suggestions for how she could do everything better.  Even […]

Battleship Wounds

22 Dec

What if you saw the vast power you have to heal and satisfy your partner?  Would you dare to use that power? Here is a common pattern I see in my couples (of course, genders can be reversed):  she moves closer to him in a warm way, he responds in a guarded manner, she feels […]

The Couple Bubble

25 Nov

How many times have you seen this couple battle: the wife has pulled her husband into therapy because she is sick of an empty marriage.  “He spends hours watching golf or football and I’m lucky to get two sentences out of him.”  He retorts, “Every conversation leads to another litany about what I’ve done wrong.  […]

Hang in there, Baby!

31 Oct

“I haven’t loved you in a very long time and I think I need out of this relationship.”  This is what Robin told me after dinner on November 2, 1988.  We had been married five years, had a one-year old son, and I had thought she was happy enough with our marriage.  Boy, was I […]


18 Sep

“Now this is what a team looks like!”  “I’m telling you, this is beautiful concrete!”  “We’ve got the whole gang getting this job done!”  As I watched Matt and his crew pour the concrete for my driveway this morning I saw a leader creating a strong team and motivating his helpers.  In contrast, I heard […]